Bullying

My son is attending Public School for the first time this year. He attended private schools, and then he was home schooled for the last 3 years.

I was in and out of public/private schools my whole life. I'm a fan of public schools. I graduated from a public school, and some how I turned out ok.

Home schooling was good, but there is a social element that is missing. I know that creates a great discord when you say that around other home school parents, but it's true.

I think Christian/private school is the first level of trying to overprotect your child, put them in the "Christian Bubble" and keeping them away from "lost people" or "those people". I've heard it from parents for years. Their kids are "safer" than at a public school. Home Schooling takes that to the next level. At home, your kids don't have to interact or be exposed to anything but what you want them to. I know home school kids tend to be over achievers and way ahead academically. I wonder if it's so that one day they can actually leave the house!

We visited Scribner Middle School before we enrolled my son. I was very impressed. I was also very impressed with their "no bullying" policy.

The p0licy, from what I'm told, was created after there was a large fight in the cafeteria, and afterward they surveyed the students and asked them what was the biggest problem at school. The response was overwhelmingly the same: Bullying.

Webster defines a bully as "a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker".

Considering I was a small fry during my years in school, this was a huge relief for me. My son, on the other hand, is a 5'6", 175 pound 12 year old who's solid as a rock. He's a big kid, but he has a gentle heart. I knew school would be an adjustment for him, but at least I didn't have to worry about him being bullied, or at least not in the same way that webster defines it.

We've raised our children to be kind to others, to be polite. He doesn't curse, doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or date. He's a great kid. He's different because he doesn't do what most 12 year olds do who thinks life is supposed to reflect Mtv's Real World.

His first day of school, a kid half his size tried to pick a fight. He heard more language than he had ever heard. We were expecting that. It's what he began experiencing later that has thrown all of us off.

I guess as we get older, we forget just how mean kids can get. Maybe kids are meaner today than they were when I was growing up.

We probably all remember "sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you". So what happens when you take away the sticks and stones? Your left with verbal abuse.

Since Scribner has a zero tolerance policy, the only way kids can hurt each other without suspension is to verbally attack each other. The shocking part: apparently, the most hurtful words are to call someone "Gay" or "Lesbian".

When tolerance is taught and discussed, and when the teacher asks about gay marriage, it almost unanimous that it should be allowed. Moments later, if you want to cut a schoolmate to the bone, call them gay or lesbian.

As a society, verbal abuse, emotional abuse has somehow become acceptable. It used to be you could work it out on the playground, but now you just get to mentally torture a kid everyday and never get in trouble for it.

Is it a result of more and more adults lacking self control? Is the example of the ex wife/ex husband ripping each apart in front of the children? Is it the verbal freedoms the children witness on television, where somehow it's become comedy to belittle and "punk" someone for your own amusement?

I'm not ranting or feeling sorry for my son. He's strong and is just looking for guidance on how to deal with these situations.

I'm grieving for how these kids, some already suffering from lack of self-esteem, abandonment issues, and abuse at home, are hurting each other everyday in an effort to try to make themselves feel a little bit better about themselves, or maybe even just to feel anything. I'm not sure some of them even know how to make friends, or in this cut-throat world what a real friend even looks like. God knows it's not modeled anywhere on television.

Things escalated the other day. My son came to me telling me about an incident on the bus. He was struck by a girl. Not a slap, but a closed fisted punch that broke the skin and left a bruise. He's ignored her taunts for weeks, and he admits and takes responsibility for taunting her back. When she got off the bus, she took her shot. With her record with "juvie" and her history of in-school suspensions, this was nothing new for her. I have to wonder where she learned to resolve conflict this way.

My son wanted to handle it himself, and meet with her and the guidance counselor at school to try to come to some type of peaceful resolution to this. Unfortunately, he won't have the opportunity. It's a physical act, so now it's escalated and there will be action taken.

This has left me with two thoughts to ponder: If we would take action at the verbal level of abuse, would it escalate to the point of physical action, and what are we really modelling to our children? We say everything on television isn't harmful, but is it any way redeeming or of value?

Catching up!

It's been awhile since I've actually had time to blog. I spent the entire summer remodeling our 30 year old motorhome.

It took a more time than I anticipated. The actual work wasn't that bad, it was finding the time to work on it that was difficult.

We took the motorhome out to feed the homeless last weekend. I had to take a couple months off while I was coaching soccer, and I didn't realize how much I missed serving others! We had a lot of folks help prepare and serve the food. We delivered over 200 meals and 100 cups of homemade chicken noodle soup!

Speaking of the homeless, we're collecting winter items at the print shop (302 pearl in downtown new albany). If you happen to be cleaning out a closet, here are some things we could really use:
Winter Coats, the bigger, the better!
Gloves
Scarves (if you can find a fleece throw on sale for $3, you can make 8 scarves out of it!)
new socks
sweat shirts (preferably with hoods)
Long Underwear
Blankets/sleeping bags/comforters
just casual stuff. no need for dress clothes or fancy stuff!

The rule of thumb is if you won't wear it, don't donate it. We're not being picky. Just because someone is homeless doesn't mean they want to be.
Make sure items are clean before donating them. Here's some food for thought: only 10% of the items donated to goodwill and other organizations are actually used for the needy. the rest are sold to clothes "recyclers" for profit. If you want to make sure your clothing is really making a difference, then please drop it off. If you want to help hand them out, we'll be heading out bright and early xmas morning!

treat yourself at treet's

My new favorite place is Treet's Cafe on Market Street in Downtown New Albany.

If you haven't been there yet, you're really missing something. The food is excellent and the people are great.

Their hours are from 10am to 2pm Monday through Friday. They're open on Saturdays for the next couple of weeks to see if there's enough interest for Saturday hours on a regular basis.

Starting on June 4th, they will be open from 1oam to 6pm.

Why am I recommending them? It has to do with more than it being a good restaurant. It's because with all the talk of downtown coming back, they need your support. Please read my posts below about being intentional. I'm asking folks to be intentional and support the downtown restaurants. I know others are doing everything they can to help out. Downtown Neighborhood associations are volunteering their time on Saturdays to make this restaurant successful.

Give it a try. I know they've had their ups and downs, but hey, it's a startup. It's not a nationwide chain with a boatload of startup cash. It's a small place owned by our neighbor who has a love of downtown. Let's all do what we can to help our neighbors, shall we??

My Personal Thanks

I want to thank everyone who supported and encouraged me to run for city council.

I also want to congratulate Harry Harbison. I had the privilege of meeting Harry and I think he is a wonderful person.

This has been a very educating experience for me.

I may have lost the election, but my hope is that enough change will take place that New Albany and it's citizens will ultimately win in th end.

Thank you all!!!

Please Vote!

Tomorrow is election day.

It's a primary in a non-presidential election. There's not a lot of reasons to take time out of your day to go vote.

Or is there?

Simply because there is no presidential election does not make this election any less important. This election is very important to the people of New Albany. A local election will not have any impact on the price of gas or the Iraq War, but it will have an impact on the way we live our lives on a daily basis here in New Albany.

Of course I'm going to ask you to vote for me, but more importantly, I'm going to ask you to vote. Vote for a change in New Albany. There are plenty of new candidates running for office, and the harvest is ripe.

I'm not saying New Albany has to be like any other city, but let's restore this city to the greatness of it's past and give it a future our children and grandchildren can enjoy and be proud of.

It's all up to you.

Thank you for your encouragement and support!
Pete

Correction to Courier-Journal Post

My thanks to Randy, author of all4word, for pointing out a mistake in the Courier-Journal post.
I have mistakenly referred to the Caeser's Foundation when it should have been the Riverboat Fund.

I apologize for the mistake, and again thank you Randy for providing the correct information to me.

Where I stand

The Courier-Journal has allowed candidates to submit information to their website.
My two-cents worth can be found here:
http://c-jonline.com/candidates/2007/candidates.php?candidate=Lyons%2C+Pete&Submit=Go

and at the tribune:
http://www.news-tribune.net/election2007/local_story_107130717.html?start:int=15